Tag Archives: introvert

Ambitious Introvert?

14 Dec

Being both ambitious and introverted comes with its challenges. I sat down the other day and wrote out a few things I regularly deal with. Sometimes I feel as if I’m being pulled in opposite directions and for my own peace of mind I’m constantly having to find the balance.

For example,

I want to come forward but I also want to be in the back

I want to be spontaneous and outgoing but I spend too long analysing possible outcomes

I want to run away from business meetings because they’re usually overdone and I have work to do

I want to lead but I also want to follow

I want to be an entrepreneur but risk and uncertainty terrifies me in more ways than one

I want to receive the recognition you deserve but you don’t want to be centre of attention

I want to go to business networking events but I really can’t be bothered with the small talk

I want great success but I don’t want to be scrutinised

I realise that some of these things I deal with are essential to my personal development and the progression of my businesses. As much as I want to be recognised for my work, I don’t want it done in a way that makes me centre of attention. There’s something calming about being in the backround. But the success I’m aiming for, it’s inevitable that I will need to come forward at some point. That’s why I have to  feel the fear and do it anyway!

So even though sometimes I want to be 100% introverted and stay home all day and read a book…I can’t. My ambitious side tells me to get up, get out and chase my dreams. I never see my introversion as a hindrance. I understand it is crucial to my success! what success can I achieve without careful thought and knowledge? and equally, what success can I achieve with no action? That’s why I’m learning to find a balance between both traits.

So if you’re an ambitious introvert. You’re not alone. Would love to connect! 

Leave a comment below. How do you balance the two?

Nat x

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How to be a bold introvert

12 Jun

So you’ve dragged yourself out to a party that you didn’t want to go to because you would rather sit at home and finish your latest self help book on “how to be social”. But instead your friend has persuaded you to come out. You’re sat in a room full of people talking, laughing and joking but you have absolutely no interest in what they’re talking about. You try the small talk thing but fail to find enough trivial topics to talk about in 10 minutes. Next you try the laughing technique, by laughing at everything someone says…running the risk of looking awkward. But none of it feels right. You crave real communication and honest conversations but the environment stops you from getting that.

So what do you do in this situation? You could try and compete with the outgoing extrovert in the room. By shouting on the top of your voice and talking to 3 or 4 people simultaneously whilst dancing to the music…but there’s one problem the idea of being the centre of attention scares you right? So let’s rule that option out.

OR you could become a bold introvert! you could just be quiet and sit there peacefully observing the party. I know you secretly would quite enjoy doing that. But if you are feeling a tiny bit gregarious on the night and I mean the tiniest bit…you could try and spark up a conversation with someone.

But how do you actually become a bold introvert?

1. Detach yourself from the negative stigma that surrounds introversion

People often try and say that introverts are anti-social loners. But no…there’s nothing wrong with you…it’s just a different preference in communication. Yes introverts experience social anxiety but so can extroverts. Being an introvert is not definitive. You can have extroverted characteristics and still be introverted. No one is completely one or the other. But we all have certain characteristics that we’re most comfortable with. So detach yourself from the ignorant comments that introversion is a problem that needs to be fixed. It’s not. Your brain is just wired differently.

2. Harness your ability to build rapport with people

Introverted people are more likely to be in tune with their emotional feelings and those around them. They’re empathetic and compassionate which can be very positive when building new friendships. One to one conversations are commonly preferred amongst introverts because you can take the time to get to know someone on a deeper level. If you find yourself in a social setting try seeking out a person and start up a meaningful conversation. If they’re interested they’ll reciprocate if not they’ll move on. Keep doing this until you find someone you connect with. 

3.  Communicate in a way that you feel most comfortable

Use your unique skills of soft speaking and careful thought. Speak slowly and clearly. Don’t always try to match the pace and style of the other person. Converse in your own way.

4. Be unapologetic 

Be unapologetic in the fact that you may not always want to interact with people. Become unrestrained by the social constructs of this world that say you need to be more talkative and gregarious. Just be you. And be bold doing it. If people don’t feel comfortable with your quietness that’s their problem. Never feel like you need to put on an act to please others because they haven’t taken the time to understand your introversion.  

The truth is…a lot more people are introverted than you think. Many successful leaders display introverted characteristics such as Warren Buffett, Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton and Bill Gates. So instead of feeling ashamed that you’re less sociable than everyone else, start recognising that you’ve been gifted with the ability to connect with people, be creative and become excellent leaders. 

So how do you become a bold introvert? Well it’s simple. Stay true to yourself and be bold doing it.

How do you cope in social situations? Do you try and act in a way that’s pleasing to others? Or do you not care?

**The issues presented in this post were inspired by the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain**

Book available at: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Quiet-power-introverts-world-talking/dp/0141029196 

Ted Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0KYU2j0TM4