Ambitious Men; Let’s hear from OluFela

22 Jun

Name | OluFela Raymond Tusin (Fella) is what everybody calls me. Some call me OluFella

Tell us a random fact about yourself | I LOVE TO COOK

What is your current occupation? | I am Currently a product advisor for Microsoft and a Freelance Photographer

Would you class yourself as an ambitious man? | Yes I would. I am very passionate person about everything that I get involved in. its either all or nothing for me. I don’t believe in “halfassin” Life.

Have you always been ambitious? If not what was the turning point for you? |Yes I have always been an ambitious person. But I also believe there have been moments in my life where I push myself to be more ambitious about my endeavours. One of those moments was when I left college to pursue my dreams as a photographer. With so many self-titled photographers these days I believe what separates me from others is my passions and love for capturing people, my ambition to always keep growing learning and inspiring others to do greater things.

What is your biggest achievement to date? | My biggest achievement to date is raising over $7000 towards Livingstone International University (LIU); a privately funded University in Uganda Africa.  I achieved this by volunteering 2 weeks of my personal time and skills to document LIU’s first graduation class ever. I spent 95 percent of my time on the university’s temporary campus documenting the students, professors, deans and other employees surrounding the campus. I also took advantage of my surroundings and shot and documented as much of the locals as possible.

This wouldn’t have been possible to achieve if it wasn’t for the amazing company I work for (Microsoft) pushing each and every one of its employees to volunteer in their communities. For every hour I volunteered, the company matched my time with $25 per hour donation to a charity of my choice.  As I was born in Lagos, Nigeria; I figured what better place to give my time than a country in Africa.

While in Uganda it really took me back to growing up as a kid in Nigeria. I remember hoping; praying and wishing that one day I would have the opportunity to better my family’s lives by getting a better education and a great job. But I also prayed I would have the opportunity to leave Nigeria and see what else the world had to offer me. Fortunately for my family and I, we won a visa lottery and I was presented with everything I ever dreamt of.  As I documented the students and people of Uganda, I could see that same hope for a better future and opportunity in every kid’s eye. That’s what pushes me every day to keep raising awareness for the kids/people in Uganda.

Through my photographs from Uganda and other works, I continue to raise funds for a second trip back to Uganda and also help fund more resources for the kids and people in need in Uganda.

Olufela

 What is your long term vision for yourself?| My long term vision for myself is to be one of the people that educates and encourages young minorities in America and all over the world to invest their time and money back into Africa and also help educate the youth in Africa. To achieve these goals, I would have to move to a country in Africa and start a base for young entrepreneurs and educators to come. I don’t have an exact written plan for this yet, but everyday God leads me closer to building it together.

What have you sacrificed or willing to sacrifice to achieve your vision? | I am willing to sacrifice anything to achieve my vision because my goals won’t just benefit me but it will benefit future generations to come. I have sacrificed a lot. But I would say the biggest thing that I have noticed sacrificing day in and day out is my own personal money. I invest a lot of money into my work. Most people I know have grants and other resources that help them fund their work. But all the money I have comes from either selling art or from my 9-5 job at Microsoft [Thank you Microsoft].

I have also lost a lot of people in my life because of the changes I had to go through mentally and emotionally to become my true self.

 What advice can you give to other ambitious men that want to pursue their dreams but are afraid to do so? | Take it a day at a time. God didn’t create the world in one day. Be patient. Don’t just accept the knowledge giving to you, seek it out yourself.

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Please make sure you go and check out Olufela’s amazing photography! Support the cause

www.feleraymond.com

Instagram: peopleofuganda       felaraymond

 

My fiancé is too busy for me, but I’m ok with it

8 Jun

As a recently engaged couple you would expect us to spend a lot of time together right? But we don’t. In fact we spend a lot of time apart. Currently living in two different cities, about 80 miles apart, means we only get to see each other once a week (if that). We rarely have ‘dates nights’ and we don’t really do the whole gifts and present thing. Our phone conversations are usually at the end of the day…when he’s tired from his long day. His attendance at my family meet ups are practically non-existent and holidays away together are once in a blue moon. Basically his current schedule barely allows time for him to see his own mother let alone meeting up with me!

I’ve imagined what life would be like in a ‘normal’ relationship. You know where you go on weekly date nights and spend every waking minute of the day together, go travelling and watch movies etc. I do wonder if that could ever happen for our relationship…But for the type of man that I’m with…I very much doubt it!

Some of you women reading this, may be thinking…girl you need to leave him! He is way too busy for you! He obviously doesn’t care! Why are you giving him the time of day!

…well let me tell you why I’m OK with him being busy

Before you throw my fiancé under the bus, please understand that he is an ambitious man. The reason he is so busy is because he’s a workaholic. He obsesses over his dreams. He has goals he wants to achieve and he works towards them every single day. His intelligence surpasses anyone that I know! And he is hugely unconventional in his thinking. Most of his days are spent co-running a healthy food business and doing football training for 2 – 3 hours each day. He has set his standards high and hopes that one day he’ll be the best in the world and win the Ballon d’Or. The emotional and physical demands he puts himself under means it becomes difficult to make time for me.

But I understand that when you want to be the best, there isn’t a lot of time for leisure. Time is precious and each second your gifted with on this earth is another opportunity to achieve your dreams! So unfortunately regular date nights become less of a priority. A night spent eating out, however fun it may be, means that’s an evening he’s not able to work on the business. Going away on holiday for 2 weeks may mean he begins to slack in his football training. I never want to be the reason he doesn’t achieve his dreams! I have to honestly ask myself do I really value a date night that much that I would rather have that than a life of financial freedom?

So this is why I have to be OK with his busy schedule. Sacrifices have to be made. I have to accept that we may not be able to do the things ‘normal’ couples do…because well frankly we don’t want to live a ‘normal’ life.

Please don’t misunderstand my point. I’m not undermining the importance of spending quality time with your other half but I’m stressing the importance of working towards the future instead of living in the now!

So I’m OK with the fact my fiancé is too busy for me because I know he’s

…working towards a better life for me and our daughter

…breaking the cycle of debt in our families

…achieving his dreams

…working towards financial freedom

I know he’s not doing this for just himself…he’s doing it for our family! Nothing in this world comes easy and if you want an extraordinary life…you have to be willing to live in unconventional situations. You can’t just do what everyone else is doing and expect to live the life of the elite!

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Dear fiancé,

In the beginning of our relationship I can honestly say that you put a lot of effort into me. I wasn’t the most confident, neither did I believe in myself but you helped bring me out my shell and made me realise my strengths. You invested in me. I will never forget that. In hindsight, I feel that you may have been preparing me for now. Had I not decided to step up and become the woman I am today I could have left the relationship a long time ago. I would have got frustrated with your busy schedule and would have concluded that you didn’t make time for me because you didn’t love me. But I’m learning now that’s not the case! Yes there have been times I’ve felt extremely lonely because I wanted to spend more time with you. But that’s because I didn’t allow myself to become apart of your dream and vision. I was trying to stand at the sideline and shout for your attention instead of jumping in and becoming apart of your vision.

But now it’s MY time to step up! And  I’m all in!

Love you

Nat x

8 reasons why quitting your 9-5 to become self-employed is a waste of time 

1 Jun

We all dream of a life where we can sit back and do what we want. We all want to live lives where we can truly experience our dreams and do the things we love. We don’t want to be told when to wake up and when we can go on holiday. We just want control over our lives. This is why some people are drawn to self-employment and the fantasy of becoming ‘their own boss’.

By definition, someone that’s self-employed doesn’t work for an employer. They usually charge an hourly rate and they get paid for the work they complete. The amount of hours worked reflects the amount of money received. Examples of self-employed jobs include, builders, photographers or web designers. They essentially trade skills in return for money.

But quitting your comfortable 9-5 job to pursue a life of self-employment is a waste of time and if you keep on reading, I’ll tell you why.

1. Irregular income | Self-employment can be up and down. Sometimes business is booming and other times there’s nothing.

2. Difficult to plan for the future | The irregular income makes it difficult to plan for holidays or to buy big purchases. One month you may get triple the amount you usually make then the other month you could get nothing. This makes it difficult when trying to work out a savings plan because your income fluctuates.

3. More difficult to apply for credit | The criteria to apply for credit, loans or mortgages are a lot stricter if you are self-employed. Due to the irregular income; creditors are more cautious about lending money. Currently in the UK the self-employed need to provide 2 – 3 years proof of income before approval. So if you’ve just left your job and started to work for yourself and you want to buy a home in the next year or so…good luck trying to secure the mortgage.

4. No sick pay or annual leave | Being self employed comes with poor perks to the job. If you go off sick, so does your money. Want to go on holiday? Well unless you can complete the work remotely, it is likely you won’t be getting paid. Unless you can find a reliable person to take on the work for you, it is likely this particular income stream will stop until you return.

5. No guaranteed pension plan (unless you sort it yourself) | You have to become responsible for your own pension plans (and so you should).

6. No work life balance | You may find yourself working round the clock and putting in more effort than you did in your job. It becomes more difficult to establish a work life balance because your work becomes your life.

7. 100% responsibility and accountability | You are solely accountable for the business. If your customers are unhappy with your service they are coming straight back to you! However, a 9-5 job can buffer the brunt of disgruntled customers as the responsibility and accountability of the company are shared. This can leave you a bit more stress free than if you had to deal with it your self.

8. Limited earning potential | Although you become your ‘own boss’ your earning potential is similar to when you were working a 9-5. You get paid a hourly rate or salary for the year for the work you put in. Your income will always be relative to the time spent doing the job. For example, part time hours yields part time money. But the problem is that there are only 24 hours in the day and unfortunately you cannot work for all of them.  This means that your earning potential will always be capped.

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Self-Employed < Business Owner

A lifetime of self employment does not provide you with the same rewards as a ‘stable’ 9-5 job. It requires you to turn up early for the job, work overtime with little rewards, poor pension plans, no annual leave/sick pay and 100% of the accountability if anything goes wrong. Now for me, this doesn’t seem appealing.

The problem is, is that people don’t realise that your earning potential in self-employment will always be capped. Your earnings are based on how much work you can complete in a given time. So when you think about it, there’s only so much you can do, there’s always going to be a cut off point.

So in the long term, self-employment is a waste of time. Do you think the richest people on the earth actually work for their money? Think about it. Do you think Bill Gates actually hand made any of the Microsoft computers on the market today? No! He’s a business owner. He owns systems and he distributes his products. He has people work for him which gives him more time to expand his business and generate more profit. Do you think if Bill Gates was self-employed he would be able to distribute his products to millions of people as he does today?

Now if the rich are not working for their money, what makes you think working for your money at a lower level will give you financial freedom? It won’t. That’s why it should be our goals to move from employee/self-employed to business owners or better yet, investors! This is where you’ll start to generate residual income and be on your way to financial independence.

Internet OFF. Mind ON

25 May

I spend a lot of time on social media. But it’s almost become an addiction. I wake up, I check my social media accounts. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat…then repeat. I find myself feeding into this urge to know what’s going on in everyone’s life. It’s like I’m expecting to find out something revolutionary…something that will add value to my life…but that never happens. After endless minutes of mindless swiping and tapping I realise that I’ve wasted yet another morning feeding into this social media obsession many of us millennials are addicted to.

But it got to a point where my internet usage was at an all time high. I spent most of my day browsing through Instagram profiles and Twitter feeds. I could see that it was becoming a problem because although I was ‘connecting’ with other bloggers etc I felt hugely disconnected! I started to feel a range of emotions including dissatisfaction and withdrawal. So I decided to turn the internet OFF and put my mind ON!

My first attempt was to turn off the internet on my phone and put it on the other side of the room. As I sat there and looked at my phone it caused nothing but boredom and slight anxiety as I wondered what I was missing on social media. So I decided that I needed to get out the house. I went for a walk down by the lake. I left the house believing that the light physical activity coupled with the fresh air would help me refocus. But as I walked along the stoned path and observed the trees, grass and the running water I realised that this walk was much more than just the physical activity. Being outdoors provided me with a stillness and freedom that I couldn’t get from sitting inside.

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Whilst being out in the open my senses were heightened. I could hear the water trickling down the stream, smell the freshly cut grass and I could see all the beautiful greenery that surrounded me. I had walked this route many times before but this time felt like the first. I ended up wandering around the lake and surrounding areas for almost 2 hours. I stopped at a bench and sat there for a few minutes. Whilst sitting there I got out my journal and began to write. The emotions that poured out of me and onto the page could not be stopped. I wrote and wrote until I had nothing left to say and when I put the pen down I felt free. It must have been something about being outside and being ‘one’ with nature that allowed me to reconnect with my inner self and find that inner peace? To be honest I’m not sure but it was only then I was able to release the things that were troubling me and make space in my mind. Once I returned home I felt more refreshed and my creative juices started flowing again.

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The internet is an amazing place for us creatives and writers. It provides us with a space to express and connect with like minded people. But this walk reminded me that it’s still important to switch off and plug in your mind from time to time! If you’re experiencing a blockage in creativity it’s good to find a space where you can be still and reflect. Stillness, balance and alignment with your inner self is something to be valued and worked on. Try not to get too caught up in the social media world, make time for yourself and your art!

So from now on I think I’ll start making a conscious effort to switch the internet OFF and my mind ON!

How do you clear your mind? Please share any tips/experiences below!

Ambitious Women; Let’s hear from Nadine

23 May

Name | Nadine Robinson

Tell us a random fact about yourself | I broke my nose in secondary school whilst doing a ‘backdrop’ (which is a trampoline move). However, when I went to the doctors to get my nose checked out he said that I made it straighter… I never knew it was bent?! Moral of that story – keep control of yourself in all situations.

What is your current occupation? | I am currently a student. I am studying English Literature and Media at London South Bank University. With that being said, I consider being a mother my full time job.

Would you class yourself as an ambitious woman? | I would consider myself to be an ambitious woman – 100% I would. I feel that I am a woman who strives to excel in all aspects of life.

Have you always been ambitious? If not what was the turning point for you? | Looking back on my younger years I would say that I have always been ambitious. However, my confidence was not a high as some may have believed. During my teenage years I competed in a variety of sports and I feel that made me appreciate and understand the idea of what it meant to be ambitious and determined. Bearing this in mind, it also showed me what is expected of me if I want to be the best at what I am doing. However, I would say that I came into my own once I learnt how to be unapologetic about who I am as a person. I think this is something that comes in time for most people. For me, I started during my process of creating and failing in the blogging world. I attempted to create a blog about my thoughts and feelings on my life and the world around me – but because I was not 100% happy or content with who I was it became a bit of a battle opposed to an enjoyable journey. Fast-forward to 2013 when I started a brand new blog – now entitled Three Reign – I feel I have not only found my voice but I have learnt to be a woman who stands in her truth unashamedly. This for me was my turning point. Once I got to this milestone I began connecting and networking with other talented creatives. This in turn spurred me onto seek opportunities out that would help me reach my future goals within the writing world. Consequently, I got offered some amazing opportunities, such as having a piece of written work published in an American anthology called Love Letters to Our Daughters. All in all, I gained not only the confidence but also the awareness that I am capable of obtain my dreams if I remain true who I am.

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What is your biggest achievement to date? | My biggest achievement will always be my beautiful children. But if I have to choose a specific moment in relation to my writing, it would be having a piece I wrote The Blood Runs Deep during the #BlackLivesMatters movement read during a Black Lives Matters Campaign by the creator of Ain’t I a Woman Collective – Ella Achola. The reason for this is that I don’t read my poetry out loud so to hear it come to life and read in such an emotive manner truly moved me.

What is your long term vision for yourself? | My aim is to go into teaching. On the creative side I would love to publish a book of poetry and affirmations. Hopefully this is something that will organically manifest in the coming years.

What have you sacrificed or willing to sacrifice to achieve your vision? | I have and am willing to sacrifice my time and energy. We truly do not realise how time and energy is invested making your dreams a reality. I know in the long run that investing in myself with only benefit me. In addition, I am willing to sacrifice a part of myself; as with writing I feel it is important to insert a small amount of who you are into each peace.

What advice can you give to other young women that want to pursue their dreams but are afraid to do so? | I would remind them that they have NOTHING to lose! At the end of the day if you never try then you are letting yourself and the world around you know that it is perfectly fine to reside in the realm of failure. We are all capable individuals and for this reason we should never doubt ourselves. Whatever, you feel that your purpose is pursue it, fight for it and create it one day at a time.

Places you can find Nadine

BlogTwitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Google+

My reality of failing

18 May

If you’re a fan of motivational speakers such as Tony Robins and Les Brown you’ll be familiar with their mantra on the importance of failing. These speakers amongst many others always stress that to be successful you must fail; because failure is a way to learn. I’ve heard it many times and I thought I believed it, I really did…but I soon realised I was lieing to myself.

Let’s talk honestly about failing. It’s a horrible feeling. Possibly one of the worst. It can create insecurity and doubt in the mind. It can make you question your actions and stop you from pursuing your dreams in an instant.The subtle reminder of past failures can become quite tormenting. It suggests to you each time that you’re inadequate, you’re the reason why you haven’t made it and you’re ultimately the FAILURE. But for those that are ambitious you need to accept that failure is inevitable! It’s something you HAVE to deal with. Working towards your goals means a lot of trials and errors along the way! But your drive and determination is what will keep you going despite the guarantee of failure.

Personally, I don’t fail well. I’ve grown up with a ‘little miss perfect’ complex. I never really stepped foot out of line at school and I minimised risks wherever possible throughout life. I thought that staying within my comfort zone meant that I would avoid failure. I went through school doing minimal work and came out with OK grades. Setting my standards low was a way to protect myself…because if I ever did fail I could justify it with the fact that I didn’t try my hardest so it didn’t matter.

But this post has come about because I recently experienced a few obstacles, setbacks and barriers. I still don’t like to fail and even though I push myself each day I’ll be honest, the thought of failing haunts me each time.

I’m currently building a business in financial education and along the way I’ve hit a few hurdles, barriers and road blocks! (to say the least) which has discouraged me on so many levels. Paperwork and admin are an essential part of every business and it must be done correctly to ensure accuracy. I was met with a task where I had to complete some paperwork in a short space of time. I wasn’t completely familiar with the processes and I felt a bit overwhelmed about having to complete it quickly. I got it wrong; a few times and I made errors. I wanted to quit. I contemplated giving up and justifying to myself that this business venture wasn’t for me. But I could see a trend and I told myself I can’t give up this time round. So I stuck at it and completed the paperwork. I put in 100%!

So it’s important that if when you fail you realise that it’s all apart of the process. If the journey to the top was easy…a lot more people would be up there. So remember to keep your mental state in check. Be honest with yourself. Give 100% and don’t make excuses! If you’re met with failure, acknowledge it and keep it moving!

[As always, I write these posts as motivation to myself. I’m still learning. I’m still developing but hopefully along my journey I can help you all too!]

How do you cope with failure? Leave a comment below or drop me an email

“Let your dreams guide you”

Nat x

Ambitious Women; Let’s hear from Chylo’e

11 May

Name | Chylo’e

Tell us a random fact about yourself | I have over 30 Mac Lipsticks… Lipstick is my thing!

What is your current occupation? | I ‘m a mumprenuer as I run a social enterprise and I am just about to embark on another exciting business venture, but I am a Fashion Merchandiser by profession.

Would you class yourself as an ambitious woman? | Yes, Yes and Yes! My thing is you have to go after what you want as nothing is ever handed to you on a plate, and if it is, always question it!

Through different obstacles in my life I have learnt that nothing is impossible or unreachable; so don’t be afraid to aim high and always believe in YOU!

I also align myself with other ambitious and successful women as I believe you’re only as good as the company you keep. I hope to pass these gems down to the next generation of females coming up.

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Have you always been ambitious? | I was raised in a single parent home where I saw my mother work her ass off, and achieve more than some two-parent homes…so to be ambitious is all I know!

She instilled in me, and my sister that nothing is impossible as long as you put your mind to it and work hard. So in her memory I always said I was going to be a success, no doubt about it!

But there was a point in my life just before turning 30 and after the loss of my mum that I started to doubt myself and my abilities. I let fear over shadow my natural confidence.

This was the point where I stared to question my achievements thus far. I asked myself “should I be further ahead?” and all that jazz that normally hits when you reach a milestone, and people start telling you where you should be in YOUR life.

But what helped me get back on track was I started to read more, especially books of inspiration. I began to focus on speaking positivity into my life, and that shifted my way of thinking, which then shifted my way of behaving.

I thought to myself…  “what was the worst thing that could happen to me if I challenged my fears?” NOTHING! But if I didn’t challenge myself I would continue to live a life of frustration and un fulfillment.

A big lesson I learnt very quickly is that there are no limits to the mind except those we acknowledge.

And then a blessing happened and my son arrived, I knew I had to be the best mum possible to create and sustain the life that I had always dreamt of. And four years later I am doing just that!

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Chylo’e and her son Ethan

What is your biggest achievement to date? | My biggest achievements to date are my son, and quitting a 12-year career in Fashion merchandising to pursue some of my long term goals and passions, which I feel were being stifled working a 9-5 job.

With more time on my hands I am now able to focus on building my personal brand alongside working on my social enterprise BelEve UK. BelEve UK is a sisterhood; a place for young girls to come, learn, be inspired and find a sense of belonging, through different platforms.

What is your long term vision for yourself? | My biggest goal is to be the BEST me possible, while remaining happy. It is also so important to live YOUR life on YOUR own terms, and by YOUR own standards.

Another vision is to continue to empower, and advocate everything it means to be a woman through BelEveUk and the other businesses I run, and for this to be heard nationally. We have an event on the 15th May  @ Box park called BelEve Girls rock, which is a platform for up and coming female musician to showcase their talents! I would love for this event to be as big as Black Girls Rock as it has so much potential!

And last but not least, I have a long term vision to run style workshops that teach young women, especially mums like myself how to be stylishly confident!

What have you sacrificed or willing to sacrifice to achieve your vision? | I have sacrificed a pay cheque!

This has been challenging, as my outgoing didn’t reduce inline with my income!!

But I just put my faith in God that He would provide. Apart from God I had to be stricter with my budgeting, eating out and spontaneous shopping sprees. All these things had to be cut down to a minimum and trust me I already had enough clothes to last a few of us a life time!

But when your backs against the wall, you push harder and become more focused. I had to become more creative. For example, instead of watching TV when I got home, I would sit for hours sorting through and uploading old and unworn clothes onto eBay; creating another source of income.

 What advice can you give to other young women that want to pursue their dreams but are afraid to do so? |

Believe in YOU!

Act in spite of fear!

Never let mistakes define who you are!

Dream big and never stop short of reaching the top!

Have a plan but don’t be to rigid with the direction it takes you in, as sometimes the best opportunities come from the worst situations!

Places you can find Chylo’e

Twitter | Instagram

Blogging Commitments; Review

4 May

So I came back the other week with a “where have I been” post after being absent for a few weeks months. Whilst I’m sure you understand why I took such a long break I still think I should address the blogging commitments I boldly made at the end of last year (2015). Blogging is something that I honestly enjoy but I don’t always make it a priority and that evidently showed at the beginning of this year. I don’t want to lose that passion that I originally had. So let me honestly review my blogging commitments. So for this post I’ll go back to each of my original commitments and I’ll see how many of these I actually stuck to!

Disclamer: Now I wouldn’t say I completely failed but I surely didn’t stick to everything on the list. Let’s have a recap.

  • Blog posts EVERY Wednesday at 2pm GMT | THIS HAPPENED FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT BUT IT FIZZLED OUT IN JANUARY THIS YEAR
  • A round up on the last week of each month detailing what I’ve achieved and lessons learnt for that month! | FAILED ! HONESTLY THAT NEVER HAPPENED
  • To post on Instagram at least 3 times a week | FAILED! I PROBABLY DID THIS FOR ONE WEEK. INSTAGRAM IS STILL MY LEAST FAVOURITE SOCIAL MEDIA OUTLET
  • Any guest posts or features for the month to be posted on Mondays | SORT OF ACHIEVED. I ONLY HAD ABOUT 3 GUEST POSTS BUT THEY WERE ALL POSTED ON A MONDAY
  • To dedicate 1 day a week to network with other bloggers. | THIS NEVER HAPPENED. ALTHOUGH RECENTLY I HAVE MADE AN EFFORT TO NETWORK WITH UK BLOGGERS. HOPING TO ATTEND A MEET UP REAL SOON!
  • To tweet at least once everyday | THIS DID HAPPEN BUT I WENT 6 WEEKS WITHOUT TWEETING. I’M NOW BACK TO SCHEDULING MY TWEETS AND TWEETING THROUGHOUT THE DAY

You know what…I’m not even embarrassed that I didn’t meet all my goals. This stuff happens. Life gets in the way. But now I’m looking back at them and I am going to tackle them head on again. I think my problem was that I didn’t put blogging as a priority. I’m not going to change any of these commitments, I won’t add to them or take any away. It’s important to be consistent in life right? So I’m going to stick at it and see how I get on.

I think the only way you can grow as a person is being open and honest with yourself. I’m not saying to give yourself a hard time but don’t ignore your shortcomings. Most of the time I’m not afraid to admit when I’ve done something wrong. Yes I’ll be honest pride gets in the way sometimes but for the most part I can hold my hand up and admit it when I’ve done wrong.

So yes readers, I lost my way. Yes, I didn’t stick to my blogging goals. But you know what. I’m not the first blogger that’s failed. Let’s get over it and keep it moving shall we? Lol

I think I’ll leave it there for now. Another follow up in 3 months? lol

Nat x

Reflections of a mum-to-be; Stay at home mum?

27 Apr

With only 3 months to go until the arrival of my baby girl I’m already considering what life will be like once she’s here. I’m trying to envision how much my life will change. I’ve spoken to other mothers about what it’s like to be a mum and most have said there’s no experience like it. One mother said her priorities and perspective on life completely changed. I do wonder what she actually meant. How did it change?

[I’m not expecting to understand this until it happens…but I do still wonder.]

But as an ambitious young woman with my whole life ahead of me, I’m left with a set of priorities to sort through. First up, the decision between being a full-time mother and pursuing a career seems to top the list. It’s a decision most mothers have to battle with. It’s an additional pressure that most men don’t even have to consider. I can understand that we as women struggle with this decision because we can see both options have value. But the difficulty arises when we’re forced to choose one option. But I always think is it necessary to choose one or the other? Can we not do it all?

I’ve been asking myself all these questions lately…

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At my midwife appointment

However, I feel that society doesn’t value the option of being a ‘stay at home’ mum. There always seems to be a negative connotation associated with it. It’s often seen as the less ambitious option and the dare I say ‘easier’ option. But I don’t believe that to be true. Being a full time mother is just as valuable as pursuing a career, except that you’re directly contributing to your children’s lives. It’s an investment for the future.

For me, contributing directly into my family’s lives is much more appealing and that’s why I’m leaning towards becoming a ‘stay at home’ mum (whatever that may turn out to mean). But I want to be at home with my daughter as much as I can. I want to teach her and educate her on the things school won’t. I just want to be there for her.

I decided a year ago that I didn’t want to go back into full time employment, (although I picked up part-time jobs along the way my focus was still to pursue business). Not much has changed, although now there is a baby in the mix, I still don’t feel the push to go back into full time employment. This is why I’m currently building a business that will ultimately provide residual income. Once this starts working for me (and it will) it will give me the freedom I need to be with my family.

So don’t worry I don’t plan to relinquish my ambitious nature but in fact I plan to incorporate it into motherhood. So to all the ‘stay at home’ mums, I salute you. I’ll be joining you soon!

“My why isn’t just about me anymore. It’s about her.”

Nat x

Check out the first post in this series

 

Ambitious Women; Let’s hear from Mica

20 Apr

Name | Mica Whyte

Tell us a random fact about yourself | I have never had a nosebleed

What is your current occupation? | Journalist and Menswear Product Manager

Would you class yourself as an ambitious woman? | I would most definitely class myself as an ambitious woman. My thing is, if you don’t try, you’ll never know. There have been opportunities that I have taken, that I haven’t been successful at, but I felt better knowing I tried something new. I see it as having more knowledge on an area that I did before I trying.

Have you always been ambitious? If not what was the turning point for you? | From a young age I’ve had goals that I wanted to achieve. From wanting to be an English teacher to a professional Netball player, I always worked on being one of if not the best at that craft. As I got older, those goals and dreams changed for me, but I’m still connected to them in some way. I studied Fashion Journalism at University and for the past 13 years; I have played Netball every Tuesday in my local adult league.

What is your biggest achievement to date? | I have had many achievements that I am really proud of, but the biggest for me is creating my own magazine as my final major project at university. I created a fashion and lifestyle menswear magazine called, XY.

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What is your long-term vision for yourself? | My long-term vision is happiness. It is so important that in everything you do, you remain happy from within because it will shine on the outside. I have a few areas that I want to conquer. The first is to be a successful freelance Journalist having worked published at various publications, one of which is in New York. The second is to have my own shop selling different brands for men, women and children. The third is to be an inspirational public speaker to young people across the world.

 What have you sacrificed or willing to sacrifice to achieve your vision? | To do what I love, I sacrificed a decent paying job. I worked my four weeks notice but didn’t have another job to fall back on. All I knew is that I had to get out of the environment that I was in. In hindsight it wasn’t the sensible option, it was a selfish move as my boyfriend and I were saving to buy a house; but I knew deep down that God would make a way, I knew he would allow doors to open that wouldn’t have been possible if I stayed where I was and that’s what happened.mica

 What advice can you give to other young women that want to pursue their dreams but are afraid to do so? | I can’t stress enough not to give up, even when it seems really tough or money isn’t flowing. Do what you have to do but never give up. I say this because I gave up. I got my Fashion Journalism degree, but for a long time, I left it on the mantle piece and never picked it up. Thankfully, now I have been given that opportunity to fulfill my goals and I know my success may not happen overnight, but now that my eyes have been opened, I’m not going to stop.

Another great way to pursue your dreams is to travel when you can. I have found seeing how other people live and how other countries operate, have given me inspiration to achieve my goals. If you have a creative mind like me, this could come from seeing how people walk, how they talk, a colour, a smell and lifestyle. Keep a diary so that you don’t forget these ideas.

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Links

Mica’s Wedding Blog

Mica’s Fashion Blog

Recent articles written by Mica

http://www.onemk.co.uk/Milton-Keynes-favourite-teacher-Ed-Jones-returns/story-29048562-detail/story.html

http://www.onemk.co.uk/Milton-Keynes-residents-urged-change-views/story-29117226-detail/story.htmlhttp://www.onemk.co.uk/a/story-29090701-detail/story.html