Name: My name is Kristopher Lee and I’d like to thank Quietly Ambitious for allowing me to take part in her Bold Introvert series. I am truly honored.
Random question: You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why? That is actually a deep question. My wife keeps asking me what my favorite color is expecting the answer to change- She says it’s a shade. Well, black is my favorite “shade”. So, if I were a new addition to the crayon box, I would be some version of black. Black is the closest representation of my personality that I can think of- I’m not talking about the dark and brooding personality.
Black absorbs all colors of the spectrum and reflects none back. I have a personality type that allows me to take in and understand the emotions of those around me, but I have a hard time sharing my own emotions. So, black suits me.
Also, black goes with everything.
Are you a bold introvert? I would have to say that I’m a bold introvert in very short burst. If I have to accomplish something important, my introversion kind of shuts off. I’m a manager at my job and sometimes have to have tough conversations with the employees under me. I’m able to get through this by playing out in my mind all the possible variations of the conversation. When the talk actually happens, it ends up easier than what was in my head.
When it comes to talking to strangers, I’m not so bold. If it was just me sitting next to a person I don’t know on a couch, you can expect me not to be the one to break the ice. Once the ice is broken, however, (and the person is talking about something interesting) I can hold long conversations.
Have you always been a bold introvert? (If not, what was the defining moment for you?) I actually didn’t know about introversion/extroversion until two years ago. The only term I knew was “shy”, and shyness was something to overcome. All my life I thought something was wrong with me. I never felt compelled to go to the school dances or ball games. I would rather read books or watch a good movie. My grandmother would always say I’d grow out of it and I thought it was true.
In college, I tried to fake being outgoing. I could go for a few hours being the life of the party- but no more than a few. It was exhausting. I didn’t see how everyone else did it.
My boss was hesitant to promote me to manager because of my quiet nature but did anyway because of my work ethic. It was that promotion that caused me to seek to improve myself. That’s when I came across the Myers Briggs personality test and found out I was in INFP. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone. It’s kind of strange to say I felt alone while I was married but I guess that’s something only introverts understand.
Knowing that I was an INFP, I was able to better understand my strengths and weaknesses. I realized that I could use the strengths of my personality to be bolder in life. That is one of the reasons I was able to start my blog. It’s also the reason I chose to contribute to the Bold Introvert series. Normally, I’d decline such offers but I’m trying to be bolder, and being bold means putting yourself out there.
What do you do? At my day job, I’m a manager at a home improvement store. I’ve been fiddling around with writing short stories for years, but have never published any for fear of what everyone would think. Since discovering I’m an INFP, I’ve been trying to improve aspects of my introversion that has held me back. Last year, I decided that I was going to start a blog and I launched it April 2018. The blog is called Frugal Husband and is about helping people with their finances. Next year, I plan on publishing my short stories either through a publisher or another blog.
What are you most proud of? I’m most proud of my blog. I’ve spent years telling my wife that I was going to be a writer and I always felt that I was letting her down by not following through with it. I’d always start and give up. With my blog, I can finally say that I’ve publish something for the world to see.
Do you feel that your personality trait has helped you achieve you goals? Yes, being an introvert allows me to focus on tasks and complete them quickly and efficiently. I can often accomplish alone what usually takes three people to do. I can see problems and solutions that no one else sees. These skills have allowed me to make it far in my career. The funny thing is, everyone always seems so impressed by what I can do, but I think nothing of it.
What advice do you have for introverts that are worried about chasing their dreams? I’m sorry to have to do this but I’m going to have to quote a scene from Sister Act 2 and I’ll explain at the end.
“I know you want to sing. See. I love to sing. Nothing makes me happier. I either wanted to be a singer or the head of the Ice Capades.
Hey. Do you know who the Ice Capades are? Don’t roll your eyes. They were very cool. I went to my mother who gave me this book…called Letters To A Young Poet.
Rainer Maria Rilke. He’s a fabulous writer.
A fellow used to write to him and say:
“I want to be a writer. Please read my stuff.”
And Rilke says to this guy: “Don’t ask me about being a writer. If, when you wake up in the morning, you can think of nothing but writing…then you’re a writer.”
I’m gonna say the same thing to you.
If you wake up in the morning, and you can’t think of anything but singin’ first…then you’re supposed to be a singer.”
That line, “If, when you wake up in the morning, you can think of nothing but writing”, has nagged me for years. I’ve felt guilty because even though I thought of writing, I never followed it through to completion. I wasn’t chasing my dreams and it hurt me every day.
Introverts have a tendency to undervalue themselves, but you must realize that you are so much better than you believe yourself to be. You can change the world if you put your mind to it.
So, no matter what dream you have, if that’s all you can think about when you wake up in the morning, don’t allow fear or doubt stop you. Believe in yourself.
Profile: Kristopher Lee is an INFP. By day, he works as a supervisor of a home improvement store. By night, he creates content for his website; Frugal Husband. The goal of Frugal Husband is to help people fix their finances by fixing themselves first.