Do you have an extroverted colleague that refuses to listen to you? Do they dismiss your idea or simply talk over you at every chance they get?
How does it make you feel? Upset? Undervalued? Angry?
No one likes to feel like they’re not being listened to. We all have a voice, it’s just some are louder and more overbearing than others! However, don’t always take it personally if an extrovert isn’t listening to you! It might be for other reasons. This post will highlight the reasons as to WHY your extroverted work colleague might not listen to you!
And it may not be because of what you think.
1. They don’t realise what they’re doing
Not all extroverts who are overbearing and loud are malicious. They probably don’t realise what they’re doing or how it makes you feel. Very few people go out with the intention to make others feel undervalued, on a whole, extroverts are nice humans! Just like introverts!
Try having a one on one conversation with them. Perhaps pull them to the side and express your feelings. Let them know that you don’t appreciate it when they talk over you and then see their reaction.
2. You’re too quiet
If you’re a softly spoken introvert then it may be that your extrovert colleague simply can’t hear you. Being in an office filled with colleagues speaking simultaneously to each other can get loud. Your soft voice could easily go missed in a noisy environment.
Try speaking up in situations where you need to. For example, a project deadline is near and you’ve got some information that could significantly improve the outcome of the project. Don’t be silent. Speak up! And do it boldly!
3. You’re acting inferior
Sometimes introverts can put themselves in an inferior position. The loudness of an extrovert may be overbearing for introverts. You may draw into yourself simply because they’re draining all your energy. It’s not necessarily that you lack the confidence, but rather you lack the energy to match their conversation style.
But please remember, introverts can be confident and bold! Maintaining eye contact and being assertive with your extrovert colleague will help establish your presence! Never use your introversion as an excuse to act inferior.
4. You use low power poses
Low power poses include hunching over and crossing your arms. This subconsciously says to your extroverted colleague that they’re more dominant than you. Extroverts are more likely to display high power poses as they don’t have a problem with taking up space in a room. So they unknowingly assert their dominance over the introvert by adopting a high power pose. (Read more research about high and low power poses here).
So next time try standing with your hands on your hips and observe the difference in interaction! Simply doing this for a few seconds will increase your confidence and it will also subconsciously demand attention from your extroverted colleague!
5. You’re not speaking their language
Although you may speak the same dialect. You still might not be speaking ‘their’ language. If you need to get an important point across then you need to speak like them. That’s right. Ego aside. Try and be like them.
Try mirroring body language and match their tone, timing and projection of their voice. If they interrupt you, then interrupt them back! They won’t necessarily think it’s rude and it will probably get their attention, because that’s the way THEY communicate!
There you have it. 5 reasons why your extroverted colleague may not listen to you! Next time you’re in the office try some of the tips mentioned above.
Have you experienced this problem? What do you do when someone isn’t listening to you?