It’s 4am and I’m tired 

9 Nov

This post was written about 3 weeks ago. It had been a busy week and I hadn’t got much sleep. On this particular night I decided to pass the time by writing.

***

Its Friday. 1:09am to be exact. I’ve been in bed for an hour. It was a late one tonight as I was preparing paperwork for a meeting tomorrow.

My daughter’s fast asleep in her crib by my bed. Her little sighs and yawns are no longer cute at this hour. Each sound seems to fill the room, preventing me from falling asleep. But to be honest she’s not the reason I’m awake. I just can’t switch off my mind.

There’s so much to do

I’m currently juggling motherhood, my relationship and my business. It’s likely that I’m not excelling in all these areas but I like to think I am. In my short 3 months of being a mother I’ve already developed the “I can do it all” approach often taking on more tasks than I can handle. Being a new mum and an entrepreneur has its challenges.

It’s now 4am and I’m tired. 

We’re both awake now for the night feed. I’m currently writing this post using my phone with baby in my left hand and phone in the right whilst balancing the bottle with my chin! If motherhood has taught me anything that is to be creative. I’ll do all I can to juggle looking after baby and the million other things that needs to be done. I tweeted the other day…”I’m mastering the art of multi tasking” but am I really? Let’s be honest I can only really focus properly on one task at a time. I may feel like I’m being productive because I’m busy but the reality is I’m probably spreading myself too thin…

She’s now been fed and the good baby that she is she has gone straight back to sleep. But my mind’s still awake…

I’m thinking of my client meeting tomorrow. “Have I got all the paperwork ready?”, “will I close the sale?”. I think perhaps being an introvert also means I’m highly analytical of my actions. Each action I take usually requires a long drawn out analysis asking myself “should I have done that?” “What were the other people thinking?” “Did they perceive me well?” “What can I do better next time?”

It’s now 5am and I’m awake

The birds are singing now and tiredness has left me. My thoughts have kept my company throughout the night and now I’ve been awake for an hour just “social media scrolling”. I like to mentally plan my day and I usually do this while scrolling through instagram ‘liking’ pictures of motivational posts hoping that somehow it will change my life. lol

There’s probably not much point falling back asleep at this point.

It’s now 7am and I’m tired again

I managed to fall asleep again but the broken sleep is getting to me. I just know that today will be difficult and coffee will be needed. However, today I can’t stay in bed even if I wanted to. My client meeting is at 2pm out of town and yes little one is coming with me. So I better start getting ready.

Maybe I’ll get some sleep tomorrow night…

Nat

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2 Responses to “It’s 4am and I’m tired ”

  1. giigiisrebellion November 9, 2016 at 8:37 pm #

    My current feeling, but I have no baby. You are doing well hun ❤️ Definitely take time out for yourself also. It’s a great benefit in the long run x

    • Quietly Ambitious November 9, 2016 at 9:12 pm #

      Thanks and I agree! Easier said than done tho. I’ll find a balance soon 😌

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