***This post was originally written on the 10th July 2016***
From the moment I first found out I was pregnant my body underwent some drastic changes. I noticed quite quickly that there was something foreign inside of me that was changing my body. My hormones were all over the place, I felt nauseous, I spent most of the day in bed, I was exhausted. There was nothing I could do about it, I just had to surrender and let my body do what it needed to do. They say the first 3 months of pregnancy are crucial as it’s when most of the development happens. So whether I liked it or not, I had to slow down and do what was best for my baby.
I became a slave to my hormones. I spent the last few months going from energetic to lifeless. There was no in between. I felt there was nothing I could do about it. I’ll be honest it was difficult for me to adjust to this as I’m the kind of person that likes to be on the go all the time. And for someone stubborn like myself being forced to slow down and take it easy…isn’t something that came naturally.
But aside from the physical changes I realised there were mental changes taking place. My focus shifted from myself to my unborn child. Although I’m carrying this child I’m effectively already a mother, I still don’t know what it’s actually like! It’s difficult to comprehend something you haven’t experienced. But I’m sure first time mums would agree it’s a surreal experience.
I’ve always been aware of the notion that there is no love like a mother’s love. But now I’m actually experiencing it, I can say this is true. Even though I haven’t met my princess yet, we have developed a relationship over the nine months. I find myself looking at her scan pictures thinking “ah you used to be so small! Now look at you!” lol. I talk to her everyday and I tell her that she will be amazing and do great things.
But I can already see that motherhood is the ultimate sacrifice.
My goals and dreams are now orientated around her future. Although I feel like I’m just starting out in life and I’m yet to achieve some of my goals and dreams, I feel like her future is more important. It’s a strange perspective to go from focusing on yourself to a little life you’ve never even met. But I want the best for her. I have been blessed with this gift and I’m not going to waste the opportunity by not giving her the best start in life.
I can already see that my life has moved forward so much since finding out I was pregnant. My ambition has increased and my work ethic has improved. I feel this sense of urgency now that I didn’t experience before. It’s become all about her. She is already such a blessing in my life and she doesn’t even know it yet. She has given me a higher sense of purpose that I could ever even dream of! Although circumstances aren’t perfect, her little life is perfect and I vow to do everything in my powers to ensure she is happy!