As a recently engaged couple you would expect us to spend a lot of time together right? But we don’t. In fact we spend a lot of time apart. Currently living in two different cities, about 80 miles apart, means we only get to see each other once a week (if that). We rarely have ‘dates nights’ and we don’t really do the whole gifts and present thing. Our phone conversations are usually at the end of the day…when he’s tired from his long day. His attendance at my family meet ups are practically non-existent and holidays away together are once in a blue moon. Basically his current schedule barely allows time for him to see his own mother let alone meeting up with me!
I’ve imagined what life would be like in a ‘normal’ relationship. You know where you go on weekly date nights and spend every waking minute of the day together, go travelling and watch movies etc. I do wonder if that could ever happen for our relationship…But for the type of man that I’m with…I very much doubt it!
Some of you women reading this, may be thinking…girl you need to leave him! He is way too busy for you! He obviously doesn’t care! Why are you giving him the time of day!
…well let me tell you why I’m OK with him being busy
Before you throw my fiancé under the bus, please understand that he is an ambitious man. The reason he is so busy is because he’s a workaholic. He obsesses over his dreams. He has goals he wants to achieve and he works towards them every single day. His intelligence surpasses anyone that I know! And he is hugely unconventional in his thinking. Most of his days are spent co-running a healthy food business and doing football training for 2 – 3 hours each day. He has set his standards high and hopes that one day he’ll be the best in the world and win the Ballon d’Or. The emotional and physical demands he puts himself under means it becomes difficult to make time for me.
But I understand that when you want to be the best, there isn’t a lot of time for leisure. Time is precious and each second your gifted with on this earth is another opportunity to achieve your dreams! So unfortunately regular date nights become less of a priority. A night spent eating out, however fun it may be, means that’s an evening he’s not able to work on the business. Going away on holiday for 2 weeks may mean he begins to slack in his football training. I never want to be the reason he doesn’t achieve his dreams! I have to honestly ask myself do I really value a date night that much that I would rather have that than a life of financial freedom?
So this is why I have to be OK with his busy schedule. Sacrifices have to be made. I have to accept that we may not be able to do the things ‘normal’ couples do…because well frankly we don’t want to live a ‘normal’ life.
Please don’t misunderstand my point. I’m not undermining the importance of spending quality time with your other half but I’m stressing the importance of working towards the future instead of living in the now!
So I’m OK with the fact my fiancé is too busy for me because I know he’s
…working towards a better life for me and our daughter
…breaking the cycle of debt in our families
…achieving his dreams
…working towards financial freedom
I know he’s not doing this for just himself…he’s doing it for our family! Nothing in this world comes easy and if you want an extraordinary life…you have to be willing to live in unconventional situations. You can’t just do what everyone else is doing and expect to live the life of the elite!
In the beginning of our relationship I can honestly say that you put a lot of effort into me. I wasn’t the most confident, neither did I believe in myself but you helped bring me out my shell and made me realise my strengths. You invested in me. I will never forget that. In hindsight, I feel that you may have been preparing me for now. Had I not decided to step up and become the woman I am today I could have left the relationship a long time ago. I would have got frustrated with your busy schedule and would have concluded that you didn’t make time for me because you didn’t love me. But I’m learning now that’s not the case! Yes there have been times I’ve felt extremely lonely because I wanted to spend more time with you. But that’s because I didn’t allow myself to become apart of your dream and vision. I was trying to stand at the sideline and shout for your attention instead of jumping in and becoming apart of your vision.
But now it’s MY time to step up! And I’m all in!