Life Advice Motherhood Personal Development

Reflections of a mum-to-be

As I will be a mother in a few months, I've been reflecting on my life and my impending motherhood. I've asked myself have I always been fair to my parents? Was I ever too disobedient? Or even too rebellious? In this post I'll explore my current views on parenting and how I intend to parent my daughter in the future.

The other day I was thinking back to the times where I would believe and follow everything my parents told me. I would willingly agree with everything they said…no questions asked. I remember my father once told me that putting petrol in a car makes it grow. I honestly believed that for a few years. I remember intently watching the other cars at the petrol station to see if they doubled in size. [They never did]. But that just shows that when we are young our parents had the power to say anything to us and in our naivety we would often accept.

But I can remember the times when I started challenging my parent’s views. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens. I guess my increased independence and growing intellect gave me the confidence to question them. I was never disrespectful but I was challenging. At times I felt rebellious and I was sometimes branded as a disobedient child. But in my defense I feel like I was just trying to develop as a person. I was exploring all the different views I had and because of my intuitive nature I couldn’t just take everything at face value.

But as I sit here this afternoon and reflect on my ‘rebellion’ I can see that there were some benefits to challenging my parents. I honestly believe that during those years I was creating the foundation for me to become a strong minded and ambitious woman. [I hope my parents can agree too]. I feel that through questioning my parents helped me to cement my beliefs even more. I learnt more. I explored my thoughts and ideas more and now I feel confident in the things I believe. 

So with this in mind and my impending motherhood I thought about the future dynamics of my relationship with my daughter. I want there to be freedom of expression between us. I want her to openly discuss things that concern her. I want her to challenge my views with logical and well formed arguments. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want her to be rebellious without reason, but nor do I want her to blindly accept everything I tell her. Quite frankly, I want to raise a woman that is strong minded, driven and confident!

But to achieve this, the practice must start at home and that’s why I cannot let my pride get in the way. I must learn to put aside my emotions in times when she’ll prove me wrong. This is where I envision the challenge will be. As a mother I can imagine you feel all knowledgeable and all powerful over your offspring. I guess you feel that because you carried them for 9 months you have the right to dictate every aspect of their life. But I think we forget that we are primarily human beings; with our own goals, dreams and purpose. That’s why I believe it is important as a parent to encourage your children to fulfill each of these.

I envision that the most precious moments of motherhood will be allowing my daughter to teach me in areas where I fall short. I don’t have all the answers and yes I may get things wrong but I can only hope and pray that God gives me the wisdom and strength to be the best mother that I can be.

Are there any mothers that can relate? How do you feel when your children challenge your views? And what do you think about this kind of parenting style?

Comment below

Nat x


3 comments on “Reflections of a mum-to-be

  1. Juni Desireé

    Love this. I was wondering if I could include this post in a book I’m working on as a tribute to mothers. Your name, age and country will be included or you can be anonymous. I totally understand if you want to decline, but just thought I’d check. it’s a book to encourage mums and let them know they’re not alone in the fears, etc. There are also some prompts if you are interested. Feel free to email for more info:

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