Thank you, but…I’m not taking your advice

23 Dec

“I’m not taking your advice”

I don’t know what it is about humans but we love to give advice. It’s probably in our nature to support one another. I guess it shows that we care? But quite often people give advice they’re not even qualified to give…so what do you do in those situations? You politely decline by saying “Thank you, but I’m not taking your advice”

But it’s not always easy to turnaround and say this to someone. I have experienced this issue in my personal life. I’ve felt conflicted in my decisions because I’ve been too fearful of upsetting the other person. As much as I wanted to accept their advice, it still wasn’t what I wanted for myself in the long run. So for a short while I remained in the middle. I fought against myself and fought against them because I felt conflicted in what advice to follow. Do I follow my gut? or do I listen to them? I knew the advice they were proposing to me, wasn’t in line with my end goal. But… something in me found it difficult to say no.

Through these difficult decisions I’ve learned that not everyone’s advice will be applicable to my life. As difficult and heart breaking as it may be…sometimes you just have to say with the utmost respect; “Thank you, but…I’m not taking your advice”. It is likely people will get offended. But it’s a part of life. If the person was able to see things from your point of view they may understand your reasons. But most people do not operate objectively. They view things through emotion and thus get upset when you reject their advice. But what we fail to see is that our advice may not be the best for the other person.

People can only advise on topics they’ve experienced. Their advice will always be based on their familiarity with the subject. For example, they tried to start a business 5 years ago and it failed. Obviously their advice to someone starting out a new business might be…”don’t do it”, “be careful” or “it will never work out”. Their negative experience has informed their current thinking and thus their advice. That’s why it’s important to speak to people who are at the level you’re trying to get to. Take advice from those that are in positions you aspire to be in!

So when I decide that I’m not taking someone’s advice, it doesn’t come from a stubborn place. It’s not something I flippantly decide to reject. It comes from a place of awareness and being conscious to every decision I make and every piece of advice I allow into my life. I need to take the time to consider every aspect and that includes the person giving me advice.

Here are a few questions I ask myself when sifting out the good advisers from the bad…

“Does this person have my best interest at heart?”

“Are they practising what they’re preaching?”

“Where is the evidence?”

It’s important to analyse the adviser in context. Don’t just blindly accept their advice based on the words they vocalise. But rather look at their lives, is it in line with their advice? If they’re advising you on topics that they have no experience in then run a mile! Why take advice from someone that cannot relate to you! It doesn’t make sense.

***

The irony of this post is that I’m giving you advice. You may be sitting there wanting to challenge me in the same way. Well let me help you out.

Do I have your best interest at heart? – Yes, although I may not know you personally but my blog is all about personal development and becoming a better person. It’s expected that you’re subscribed to my blog because you have some desire for self improvement. My aim is to provide the right content that meets those needs…

Am I practising what I’m preaching? – Yes, I have made courageous decisions to move towns against the advice of most people. I wanted to experience the world and find out the true meaning of my life and the only way I could do that was by putting myself in an uncomfortable position and I’m happier for it. Plus had I stayed where I was I probably would have never started this blog.

Where is the evidence? I’ve already rejected people’s advice based on what was right for me. I always had my goals in mind and in doing so I put myself in a position where I was forced to create a platform to express my views. Within a few months I now have a following of almost 200 people across my accounts and I’m hugely proud of that.

So again, it’s up to you…take my advice if you will. But make sure you do so on YOUR terms. Always make conscious decisions that benefit you in YOUR development and progression through life.

Let your dreams guide you

Natalie

 

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