Why do we find it so hard to commit?

11 Nov

In the last blog post I went into detail about the definitions of commitment. It was concluded that commitment is more than just a word; it is an action. It is something that has to become apart of your daily life. For a full review you can read the last post here.

Today I’ll discuss why it’s so hard for us to commit. We all understand that to be successful requires a form of commitment at some stage. But why do so many people shy away from the big C?

Personality traits

Commitment requires a strict decision making process. There are many methods to decision making and the approaches people take vary. Personality traits tend to influence an individual’s decision making process. For example, some people are rational and therefore use the same approach when deciding to commit. They assess all the options, identify the possible outcomes and assess the risk of each one. This process is thorough but this process is also time consuming. Therefore, commitment for this person may become a long process.

But not everyone decides to commit using rational thinking. Some people just act it out. They trust their instincts and decide to commit. Commitment for these people looks easy. But deciding to commit based on emotional reasons can be problematic in the long term. These types of people may make decisions because they ‘feel’ it’s the right thing to do. Their feeling to commit is so strong and compelling that they just have to do it. But as quickly and intense as the feeling comes, it can disappear even quicker. Making long term commitments based off emotional feelings may in the future leave you feeling regretful at the decisions you made. Emotions are fleeting and committing to something based on this rocky foundation will make it difficult to commit in the long term.

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Endless options

Our issue with commitment is further magnified by the societies and cultures we live in. For example, living in the West (as I do), we have endless options to choose from. We’re often reminded to “keep our options open”, “don’t settle” “be better” and “do better”. As much as I agree with these statement, this individualistic society pushes us towards a lack of commitment. It’s all about choosing the best options for you. We’re encouraged to ditch partners that don’t make us happy. We’re told to have back up plans in case plan A doesn’t work. We’re constantly forced to sideline our passions and choose more conventional routes.

Our lives are filled with options. Again and again we are told to make use of them.

This is why committing becomes challenging. As mentioned previously, commitment requires you to limit your options and focus your energy into fewer things. There’s no room for plan B when you commit. It’s all about plan A!

I know what you’re thinking…great Nat, all this theory but what does it mean for my daily life? How can I apply this stuff to my life and go against some of the challenges I’m facing? Well my fellow ambitious people, from reading this post hopefully it should have made you aware of some of the challenges posed to you. But information is only as good as you use it. Don’t just read this and think…hmm that was a good post…try and apply it to your life. Carefully think through reasons why you don’t commit and write an action plan on how to overcome these.

If you’re still struggling then come back next week and I’ll show you how I’m working on the reason I avoid commitment. I’ll also be highlighting to you in detail my blogging commitments for the foreseeable future. This should give you a kick start into becoming more committed to the things you’re passionate about!

Until next time…

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One Response to “Why do we find it so hard to commit?”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. My Blogging Commitments | Quietly Ambitious - November 18, 2015

    […] wondering where all this has come from? please refer back to my previous posts here, here, and here to find out what I’m talking […]

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