If you haven’t already go and read part 1 of “The Ambitious Man” series. We will be building on these topics each week so make sure you hit the “follow” button so you don’t miss a post.
So from the first post we concluded that being with an ambitious man requires a lot of sacrifice on your part. It takes a lot of energy and commitment to chase dreams. This is why YOU…as a partner…should learn to take interest in his vision. By taking interest in his vision your relationship will become strong and grounded in the right areas.
- The state of being connected or related
To be connected to someone requires either physical or emotional contact. Without this connection you would merely be two separate beings. The communication between the two of you is what establishes your connection. Over time that connection intensifies and you then become associated with the person. For example, your friends may see you at a party on your own and ask where your partner is. This is because they associate you and your partner as one…this is because you have that connection. But to be associated with a person can literally mean “a body of persons with a common purpose”. It is important that we acknowledge that having a common purpose in a relationship runs much deeper.
Create a relationship that has a common purpose
A relationship dictated by self-interests can cause you both to feel like you’re being pulled in opposite directions. Without a common purpose it can create frustrations, disagreements and sometimes break up. It can leave you both questioning whether you’re a suitable match because your lives seem to be going down different paths.
For example, your partner hasn’t spoken to you all day and you feel upset by it. Feelings of anger and rejection bubble up inside of you. You try and tell yourself not to confront him but all of a sudden you’re in the middle of an emotionally fuelled argument. You lash out. You call him names that you never dreamt of saying. You begin shouting at him about how hurt you are that he hasn’t spoken to you all day. You feel rejected. You start to ask yourself…is this relationship worth the stress?
But the stress you’re experiencing isn’t just from the argument. The stress and frustration comes from your inability to take interest in his vision. You haven’t made the effort to involve yourself and therefore feel like you’re constantly being side-lined for other competing priorities. But should you have taken a moment to reflect before you lashed out you would have realised that your partner was actually out dream chasing. He spent most of the day attending meetings and sharing his new business venture with investors. He was actually out trying to better his life and your life! But instead you allowed your feelings of loneliness to cause a dispute between you and your partner; ultimately weakening your connection.
Change your focus
However, when your relationship becomes established with a common purpose it incurs less stress. It becomes a loving and supporting one. You both come in agreement and both take measured steps towards your end goal. But if established properly, the common purpose doesn’t just end within the confines of your relationship. It begins to transfer over to you. Slowly you’ll begin to embody the purpose. You’ll find yourself thinking of ways to support your partner. You’ll start thinking of innovative ways to achieve your goals. Once you shift your focus from…me, me, me! And more on him and ‘our’ vision. You’ll start to appreciate the effort he’s making to make a better life for you. It’s all about keeping the long term goal at the forefront of your mind and putting aside emotions.
His vision should be far greater than himself!
But if he is truly an ambitious man his ambition will be far greater than himself. His vision will not only be to benefit your relationship and family but to help improve a society, a nation…and dare I say the world. If your partner’s vision is not that big…I challenge you to challenge him. Inspire him to do better and achieve more. Take interest in his vision even before he’s seen it!
I think one of the most admirable women in history has to be Coretta Scott King. Mrs King was the first lady of the civil rights movement; wife to Martin Luther King. After marrying, Coretta learned very quickly that Martin’s vision was far greater than their relationship. She realised that Martin’s vision was not for their own sake but the sake of a race; a people. She gave up her promising career as a classical singer and supported him during his campaigns. Whilst trying to maintain a somewhat normal household she had to endure regular death threats and attacks on their family home. But in all of this she remained connected with Martin. She embodied Martin’s purpose; the fight for race equality. Her continued sacrifice and commitment to Martin is evidenced in her continued efforts to campaign on the issues Martin left behind. Coretta was truly a woman that was ambitious in her own right and supportive and caring to the highest degree.
But Coretta is not alone. If we look at the wives of Barack Obama, George Bush and Bill Gates you can see that these women were willing to sacrifice their own careers and aspirations for their partner’s vision. They were often highly educated women with successful careers that chose to give it up to follow their partner’s dream.
So ladies, if you are with an ambitious man…take interest in his vision…become a selfless supporter for him and in doing so you’ll create a common purpose. Remember we cannot achieve our dreams on our own and it is only with the help of people around us that we may reach the heights of success!